The Hawaiian word ‘ohana method family. The word is familiar to many people yet seemed to it is in made famous by Disney’s “Lilo & Stitch,” where the characters quote, “‘Ohana method family. Family means no one it s okay left behind.”
This is without doubt true the families, yet there is a deeper an interpretation to the word and also spirit the ‘ohana. It’s much more than simply inclusion or no being forgotten. It’s about fostering loving and also lasting relationships with those of our blood-relatives, and also our brothers and also sisters in the person family.
The Polynesian society deeply values ‘ohana, and family ties are more important than anything else—more essential than money, than fame, than material things. A brother would certainly sacrifice anything for a brother, a parental for a child, a sister because that a sister… family ties space so important.
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Generations prior to are also deeply important. We discover our feeling of location by learning who our ancestors were, and what castle sacrificed because that us.
So how do us implement the worth of ‘ohana into our lives? What if us come from damaged families, or if we’ve never ever felt the ties to loved ones?
Queen Lili’uokalani’s ‘Ohana
Those who have actually studied the life the Hawaii’s last monarch, Queen Lili’uokalani understand that she was a hanai, adopted, daughter come Abner Paki and Laura Konia. In her own bibliography, the queen notes just how this to be the common practice of old Hawaii.
It to be a custom that the firstborn in the family members went to among the parent’s siblings. This may seem odd to west culture, and also the queen acknowledges this.
Why would anyone provide their firstborn to a sibling come raise? we wonder.
It to be the principle of ‘ohana… that we are all connected, and sharing families helps protect against pilikia, trouble or offense. It needs trust and confidence in your family members to provide your firstborn come a sibling.
If it was so vital to the old Hawaiians to offer their firstborn kids to one more for care, what does that mean for us today?
‘Ohana connects us, no issue what
Certainly, nobody of us space expected to provide our firstborn kids to a sibling!
But what if, rather of providing up a firstborn child, us give an ext love and also friendship come our families?
If we granted them a little more trust or, at least, the advantage of the doubt, would certainly that readjust the dynamic?
Would things readjust if us loved and had confidence in our families enough to assistance them? What if we forgave them willingly and openly?
The spirit of ‘ohana is the we room deeply connected: by ours heritage, our common blood, and also our family ties. We involved this earth at this time, together, and also we can be together also after this life.
The heart of ‘ohana is the we support our blood ‘ohana as well together those not concerned us. ~ all, we room all God’s youngsters so every person we happen is a brother and also sister. So we do well to one another, love one another, and also care for one another—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
How else have the right to we live the soul of ‘ohana?
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Reach out to ‘ohana
It appears to me that most family members are not an extremely open v one another. As the world advances in technology and resources, world grow further and also further apart.
Take the time to reach out to your family members. Permit them recognize you’re there. Even if you don’t agree ~ above things, such together religion, politics, finances, etc do what you can to maintain the relationship. You’ll discover that deep relationships, where differences are debated in a mature and meaningful way, can last forever. And you could find the you have an ext in common than girlfriend realized.
We all come from family members of every shape and size, and also it’s crucial to seek knowledge in each interaction. Households mold the way we view the world, and also it’s necessary to understand, for yourself and also others, how households have shame us. Most times we seek expertise by being much better listeners. Read much more about exactly how to do that here:
Pa’a Ka Waha: close the Mouth
Some of united state come from families where abuse, in all its degrading forms, was usual in the home. Have the vessel to identify the abuse, then do a decision to break the cycle. Many cycles of abuse space generational, meaning they happen from one generation to another.
It’s usually resulted in by the beliefs of ‘ohana members past, and also their beliefs do not must be yours. Notice your thoughts and feelings in the direction of other and your family, and make the commitment to break any cycles that have actually repeated itself in your family.
For those coming from damaged families
One of the hardest things for me in relocating to the mainland was the consistent stereotype the Polynesian family members are solid and close. Most Polynesian households have solid ties and healthy relationships, yet not all.
When mine parents obtained divorced, ns felt estranged from mine dad and his family. I felt disenchanted by my grandparents, who had played such little roles in my life. So when human being on the mainland suspect that, because I was Hawaiian, my family was strong knit together, that hurt.
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No household is perfect, but I walk crave the solid bonds I observed in other families. It made my heart happy to view siblings the cheered one another on, and parents who genuinely listened and supported their kids.